A “sexpert” explains why you should give it a shot. (Photo: Getty Images/CSA Images/Printstock Collection)


It’s officially mainstream: Research shows that at least half of women in America have used a vibrator. And there’s a reason women are flocking to Good Vibrations, Babeland, and the other female-friendly sex toy stores: Women who have used a vibrator report better arousal, desire, and orgasm than those who haven’t.

Haven’t taken the plunge yet? Here are three reasons to dive right in:

Easier Orgasms

If you struggle with orgasm, the most efficient shortcut is to try a vibrator. Why? Because the sexual response mechanism in your brain is made of two parts: a sexual “accelerator” (the Sexual Excitation System, or “SES”) and sexual “brakes” (the Sexual Inhibition System, or “SIS”). The accelerator responds to everything you see, hear, smell, touch, taste, or imagine that it codes as “sexy.” The brakes respond to everything you see, hear, smell, touch, taste, or imagine that they code as a “potential threat” — like unwanted pregnancy, relationship issues, and body self-criticism.

So the process of getting to orgasm is the process of turning on all the “ons” and turning off all the “offs.” Mechanical vibration provides an intensity of stimulation that no organic stimulation can match. It turns on the “ons” like nobody’s business.

Some women feel an initial resistance to the idea of using a vibrator because it feels like they “should” be able to have an orgasm without one. But there is no “should” in sex. There’s just what feels good. Philosopher Andy Clark (who’s the kind of philosopher who would probably not be surprised to find himself named-dropped in an article about vibrators) calls it “scaffolding,” or “augmentations which allow us to achieve some goal which would otherwise be beyond us.” Using paper and pencil to solve a math equation is scaffolding. So is using a vibrator to experience orgasm.

One tip: If you really struggle with orgasm or have never had one — and research indicates that about one in six women hasn’t had an orgasm (or isn’t sure if she’s had one) by age 28 — I encourage you to GO BIG. Get the kind that plugs into the wall and makes a noise like a snowblower. It’s worth it.



Prove The Myths Wrong

No, you can’t get “addicted” to your vibrator, any more than you get can addicted to, say, a vacuum cleaner. You can, however, get very comfortable with how easy it is to, um, clean the carpet with mechanical assistance.

And no, women who use vibrators don’t report the overblown “dangers,” like numbness: 80 to 90 percent report no side effects at all, and nearly all of the effects women do report last less than a day. Conclusion? Vibrators: not dangerous.

A vibrator doesn’t “replace your partner,” any more than that vacuum cleaner does. The mechanical assistants in your life have completely different roles from your partner: The vacuum cleaner cleans your carpets; the vibrator vibrates your clitoris. It doesn’t love you. It doesn’t even nibble your earlobe. Your partner, on the other hand, shares affection and pleasure and meaning with you. No vibrator in the world, no matter how powerful its motor, can do any of those things. If your partner is threatened by your vibrator, all you need to do is list all the things you get from that person — and it’s a long list!


Enjoy Pleasure For Its Own Sake

Apparently we’re supposed to feel guilty for everything that gives us pleasure. From ice cream to orgasms, from Chardonnay to a steamy romance novel, just plain old enjoying something that gives us pleasure is somehow against the rules.

But you know what? Forget that. You are allowed to experience pleasure. Full stop. You’re allowed to enjoy things that feel good, and you don’t even have to share it with anyone else if you don’t want to.

Not every woman will love using a vibrator. But every woman should try it at least once. Try what it feels like to focus on your own pleasure – and to focus on it intensely, without worrying about anyone else’s needs or wants.

Emily Nagoski, PhD, author of “Come As You Are,” is Wellness Education Director and Lecturer at Smith College, where she teaches Women’s Sexuality. She has a PhD in Health Behavior with a doctoral concentration in human sexuality from Indiana University, and a master’s degree (also from IU) in counseling, with a clinical internship at the Kinsey Institute Sexual Health Clinic. She has taught graduate and undergraduate classes in human sexuality, relationships and communication, stress management, and sex education. She is the author of three guides for Ian Kerner’s GoodInBed.com, including the Guide to Female Orgasm, and she writes the popular sex blog, TheDirtyNormal.com.

(source from Yahoo Health: "https://www.yahoo.com/beauty/3-reasons-why-every-woman-should-use-a-vibrator-112151586077.html", 1st July 2016)